


The Lush and the Care Bear

by LadyBat88



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Drunk Stiles, If You Squint - Freeform, M/M, all I know is I was drunk and this happened, lets just call it, preslash, sterek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-04
Updated: 2014-03-04
Packaged: 2018-01-14 12:38:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1266913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyBat88/pseuds/LadyBat88
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tiny ficlet about stiles being drunk off his ass, literally, and Derek being a grumpy care bear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lush and the Care Bear

**Author's Note:**

> You may note that I was drunk off MY ass when I first got the idea for this and that this is my first fanfic ever. (publicly posted that is) And that hopefully my writing will improve with time, please be patient with me. Also forgive the title I have no idea why I settled on that.

Stiles was drunk.

No.  
That’s not quite right.

Stiles was drunk off his ass…literally. 

Derek tilted his head sideways like a parakeet, looking at the lush currently singing off tune under his table, causing Stiles to break out into a fit of high pitched slightly insane giggles. 

“Are you okay?” He had wolfed out in a panic to get downstairs after hearing stiles yowling followed by a series of loud bangs and yells.

“Derek call life alert. I fell down and can’t get back up” Stiles laughs and continues “fell doooown……and I got right back but I need that spark to get psyched back up, haha get it? Cuz I’m da the smart..spark. I got the spork-SPARK. I am the spark….I beeee the spark haha. Hey-“  
stiles tries to tilt his head to look at Derek from his angle. He did this weird shimmy that untangled his limbs and knocked his knees against the table and chair legs before crawling out from under the table, and climbing up by yanking on Derek’s shirt on his way to getting vertical. 

“You sir are fuzzy.” He touches Derek’s sideburns “Like a bear. Ha, fuzzy wuzzy was a bear” He touches Derek’s currently bald eyebrows “fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, he wasn’t fuzzy was he? He was a BAAALDDYYY WAAALLDDDYYYY hahahaha” Derek stomps over to the couch. “Oh come on you grumpy old bear” Derek gets up and throws Stiles over his shoulder. “Bed time for you loser.” 

“Oh come on der bear. POOH ON YOU! OH! Whinnie the pooh, whinnie the pooh…..…..whinnie whinnie whinnie fuzzy old beeeaarr.” Derek jostles him on his shoulder to keep him from sliding off. “Whoa, Derek I’m fizzy- no, no, dizzy. Hey can you feel your face? I can’t feel my face. That’s freaky deaky right? Can’t feel my cheeky?” Stiles looks down and grins stupidly before grabbing a handful of Derek’s ass. “Can feel YOUR cheeky though ha ha” Derek doesn’t lose his footing on the stairs but it’s a near thing. “STILES. Hands. Off.”  
“Sir yes sir mister derekmeister sir. Hands and feet inside the ride at all times haha” 

They arrive in the guest bedroom and Derek lays stile’s down gentler than he’ll ever admit to. “Just go to sleep you booze hound.”  
“Yeah well takes a hound to know a hound Derbear”  
Derek would deny the fond smile that graced his face if anyone ever asked.  
It didn’t happen, not at all. 

Not even when Stiles hugged his pillow while Derek took care of his shoes.  
Snuffling into the fabric with a quiet “thanks mommy” that absolutely did not squeeze Derek’s heart and threaten to crack and split it into a million little pieces.  
Just like Derek did not under any circumstances tuck him in and kiss him goodnight on the forehead, patting his legs as he walked out and turned off the lights.  
And if in the morning Derek made cinnamon bacon pancakes dubbed “Hales sinful cinnamon hangover cure” by the pack’s human’s, well that’s just a coincidence. Had nothing to do with Stiles or his inappropriately appreciative noises while eating his breakfast the next morning.


End file.
